Leaving Monday –
I am leaving for Fiesta land on Monday. I don’t know how long I will stay- but, could stay till the following Wends.
The weather might stay sunny here – if the weather does stay nice – I’m gonna race back to Maine to tend my garden! The Lilly’s are ready to bloom and Im gonna miss it if the sun shines for a week or so– and, my window boxes will dry out. I put too much stuff in those window boxes - I have green peppers and cabbage and all kinds of flowers.
It is pouring!
I cant believe how much rain we have had here in Maine!
Today we had a break in the actual downpour part and I went out to walk the dog – well, I started to “dead head” my garden and the things were starting to rot on the plant.
We really need to have some dry weather. Look at this report :
“In fact, it’s the fifth-rainiest June on record. By Monday morning, 8.36 inches had fallen on Portland, all of it in the past three weeks, according to the National Weather Service in Gray. The total is shy of the 10.86 inches that made 1917 the rainiest June on record, but nearly three times the average rainfall, which is 3.28 inches.”
And look at this report on the cold weather-
“GRAY — It really has been colder than usual for this time of year. Record breaking cold in fact.
The National Weather Service says Portland had the coldest maximum temperature on record for July 1 on Wednesday, with a high of only 59 degrees recorded at the Portland International Jetport. The old record was 62 degrees, set in 1976.
Also on Wednesday, the temperature range — from a low of 56 to a high of 59 — was just 3 degrees, setting a record for the smallest daily temperature range in Portland for July 1.”
We enjoyed a wonderful spring- I got to do an entire garden outside – but for about a month it was been pretty nasty out there. In Portland its been grey most of the time and damp everywhere!
On a brighter side – I sent out the forms to claim the first time home buyer tax credit today. In 8-12 short weeks I will be holding a nice check! I hope that I can sell the car – and do some of the work I want to do to my place.
Eating Bacon- Eggs- Butter- Honey
I gave up being a Vegan about a month ago.
I do think it would be nice to keep the health benefits of being a Vegan- and keep a stand against large scale inhumane farming but, I kinda got out of control and wanted a burger. One turned into ten.
I also wanted to be able to spend lots of time this summer with friends at restaurants. I admit – I wanted it to be easier. Another problem for me was – I really dont enjoy Salads. My love of Veggies is clear- they were all I ate for a year and a half! Salads, though – I dont really like them. Vegan cooking for summer weather was hard for me. Soups and heavy winter foods are my favorite! I dont know how to cook many summer foods and was really tired of beans and Mexican food. I did not turn to a cook book as I might have – instead I rushed to a fast food joint and pigged out.
I dont enjoy the fat – and smoke filling and lingering around my house from cooking these animal products. The Fat seems to stick to everything. Its so hard to get my pans clean. The heavy smelly smoke lingers in a nasty way that cooking vegan food just does not produce.
How am I looking at what I am eating now? I shop at a little store a block or so away. They are local people. I like small local stores.
Its sometimes hard to tell what I think is best. Living up to what might be best is Even harder. I like shopping locally. I love walking to a nearby store. I dont like shopping at huge chains- but the big box organic store does have very very fresh tasting veggies. There is another store that sells locally grown food as often as they can – but it is a far walk from here. It would take an hour or so to walk there. I could easily take the bus, though.
More later.
Months later-
I dont know if I said – but, the house is MINE.
I own it now – and I have been working like crazy on the garden. I adopted a dog. I gained some wieght.
I am looking for americorps jobs in portland.
I am thinking thinking about how to make the Mentor program a reality.
Hunting-
I found out about three programs so far.
Here is one in L-town. (About 45 min from Portland.)
There is a shelter and a supervised independent living home.
I wonder if there is a mentor program set up. Paired with whatever other programs they have- I want to be part of a broad volunteer component for adults. We need to take these kids into life.
Thats what I want to do.
I was looking at Cyndi Laupers website today- and found something AMAZING! I had no idea this was happening.
http://www.intergenerational.org/truecolors.php
I started to cry- I really had no idea- I missed both summers of the “True Colors” tour- I wont miss it again!
Im so glad these programs are around.
I found out about a place called “Sylvia’s place”
I guess I should call the place in L=town and see what I can do. Thats what I can do.
Feeling better.
Its not true that things are up against the wall the way I tried to say they were last post.
I was feeling emo and super-sized the problems to the size they felt that day.
Its snowing here today in Portland. We have had so many Sunday storm’s this winter. I would love to have another day off from school tomorrow. On Sundays I have been going for walks to the food stores. I got some coffee for a friend today. Im going to mail him a little gift package – its a late Christmas. I found a cool bright LL bean bag- some books with New Orleans Pics and the Coffee. Im making Vegan – is that redundant after so long? Chili, Beets, Hummus, Pesto and Kale something.
I dont know if the coffee is causing it- but, food is just sitting in my stomach. Does coffee somehow slow the streanth of a allready weak digestive system?
By the end of this week I should have a new closing date for my little apartment. I have more money saved than I realised and in a few weeks will be all set to pay whatever down payment I need to. For a few days the secret up my sleeve was that I wanted to buy a tiny house instead of this apartment.
In the tiny house across town… I would have had a room without a ladder entrance and a little 200sf back yard. I love the idea of having a little garden. And outside green space to relax in. I grew up in the country and still sometimes yearn for the kind of relaxation that comes with complete privacy under the stars.
I watched AMERICA last night. I loved how Rosie took the stage to draw attention to the movie and then let her presence in the movie be withdrawn behind the story of AMERICA.
Because I know my family loved me its really hard to also say I had a very dark childhood. but, from the time I was aware I was a kid I was ready to fast forward to adulthood. I hated being a kid and for years I was afraid that if I was part of any child’s life I would cause them the kind of experience I had.
Now, I am not as afraid as I was.
There are so many kids out there that would run away if they had someplace to run away to. I would like to try to find a way to develop a place for them to go. That’s why I go to school and that’s why I want to be a lawyer. And, I guess part of the dream tucked in the back yard of that little house was a safe place for the people who lived in the tiny three bedrooms to spend time with each other.
That dream is all sweet and fine- but, I dont think its my dream entirely. Im not great at the day to day- Im very good at the idea staging part. For me, the development process where the goal is to find space for hundreds of kids is the place for dreaming.
Its like I have enough to connect with thousands but really fear what would happen If I was responsible for one.
Stable Housing –
I heard from the bank — the grant is not there for me, still – “wait a few more months” –
I understand WHY but, I was very disappointed. I work so hard, I followed all the rules and still every hand offering help retracts it at the last min.
After I got that news .. I just broke down and stood in an empty room at school and cried. Im pooped. I have fought a good fight and I felt completely DONE. I haven’t done anything fun for a year working for this house— I sold all of my things and I am not really any closer. I had some really fun things I thought if I sold I would get a house. I have good credit and two full time jobs. YET — I have No house under contract, no deposit ready to go- because until three weeks ago a class I took last summer was going to pay for my down payment, now you guessed it, NOPE>
– 4 different grants dried up in from of my face.
Here I sit- nothing to show for all this work. I don’t know how any of this is worth it. If I moved into a apartment I could take all this money and go on a vacation or something. I could go to Paris.
I was mad as hell this afternoon. I cried for about an hour standing there in the empty room at school. I called the grant lady and cried on the phone with her. I just let myself cry.
LOL – Im sure she really did not want to hear it but, The deal is that overtime income put me 4,000 over the limit to qualify for the grant. I made about 9,000 in overtime last year- so add it up, two full time 35 hour a week jobs and I still had to work overtime to be over the income limit. I am the perfect person for this grant and yet- I cant qualify for it.
Then, I called my Realtor- she said “buying a house should be hard work” and I was really not in the mood-
I told her 3 years of preparation and six months waiting was hardly what every buyer went though. Ive done the hard work and not really feelin’ happy jumping through any more hoops.
I called the banker- she told me some amounts and I felt good for an hour or so until I realized that her bank has not even qualified me for a loan yet… so even that is not a real thing to pin hopes on. Its nothing. Im nowhere. Im so tired of this being such a big part of my life. Every day its working with this house possibility. Its not even a real thing its just maybe. I am ready to be done.
Im tired.
I put in a good fight and it feels like before — a long time ago when I had a dog- I moved to Portland and there was no place for a dog so, I had to give her away. Then, even after I gave away my dog I was homeless– no place to live for me.
And now— same story, a city too big/with no room.
I was approved with my old mortgage broker- but, that bank offered a interest rate 3 point higher than the going low rate. Imagine, that a first time buyer in this market cant get the low rate.
And, the price of the place I wanted to by went up $10,000- this was after we had a closing date. So, that’s why I found a new bank. I don’t even know if it was the Banks fault – but, I have been waiting to close on this place for 6 months.
Im really worn out.
What I am going through is NOT what other people are going through. I have good credit. I make O.K money. I have stable employment.
I dont know how, with all of those things going for me I cant find a house.
My point is – If I cant find stable housing. How can kids out there alone do it? When I was 16 I would have ran away if there would have been a place to go. If its this hard for me, I have to think of those kids. They have no resources.
I am 30 and I am still struggling to find a stable place to live.
I hope someday I can work to help kids find safe stable places to live.
This house is a real ride-
This week the house I am looking to buy went up in price 10,000.
10,000.
I am keeping my cards close though- I know for sure it not me, and its not an inability of my bank to loan money. I know that part of the credit crunch is not at play on my end of the deal.
From what I know the problem is from the mortgage holders bank. It seems they refuse to take a loss. Thats an assumption, so its worthless.
There are lots of things I love about this place and location. I love the size and I love the small plot of flower garden, the light, the cheap heat. I love the trim around the windows- I love that the trim repeats outside of the house on the dormers.
I dont like that the kitchen does not have a stove. I sometimes dont like climbing a ladder to get into my bed. I dont like thinking about finding a buyer for this place if I ever decide to sell.
Its not perfect. Nothing is.. but this new delay and increase in price might make me think about other options.
Yesterday-
I guess this story begins Friday- in this long long house buying saga here is yet another road block.
Friday afternoon I received an email from my mortgage broker telling me that I would have to bring a few thousand more to close than I had originally been told. I looked at a few websites and found out why- a new law to make people have more personal equity in their home hopes to avoid some of the walk away buyers – so fine, a few thousand more.
I thought about that during the weekend and found ways to come up with that cash and yesterday called my Realtor to confirm with her my new plans. She let me know that few thousand dollars were the least of my problems. The mortgage co. that owns the place has decided to charge me $10,000 more than they agreed to last week!
So – I have found a property that increased in value $10,000 over the last week! What a gold mine. Imagine I dont have a real oven or, a bed room my condo in the smallest condo that has been in my market for 2 years and yet it value is 10,000 more than last week.
What that means is my house – the one with no oven, bedroom, parking and tops out less than 300sf is worth as much as two other condos in town that have eat in dining rooms and two and three bedrooms, respectivly.
HOW CAN THIS BE?!?!
In my situation, It is not a bank refusing to give credit! That is not true for me. What is the problem is the bank who owns this house does not want to take any loss selling it.
I have been waiting for the mortgage co that currently owns the house to approve the price and the sale of this house for 6 months.
I know this is not right- yet, I dont know where the problem is. I dont know if there is anyone to be blamed.
